Values | Talk To Me London Counselling

Individualised Values Training

Building An Authentic Version Of You

An interactive one-to-one workshop including coaching sessions

Do you ever find yourself asking the question, “Am I being authentic?”

Ever wonder who the real you is… the you that is fully aligned, honest, and true?

You’re not alone. Most people do.

Maybe you find yourself spinning around in life, feeling small, frustrated, and confined by your efforts to try and meet everyone else expectations.

Or, maybe you’re living a gigantic life full of all the typical metrics of success - money, career, sex, social connections, fitness, etc., yet you still feel empty on the inside.

In your relationships - whether they be romantic, family, or work relationships - more often than not, you know deep down you’re not really showing up as your most authentic self. You’re trying to please others, be liked, and belong.

You find yourself repeatedly taken for granted, your boundaries (if you have any) are frequently crossed, and no matter how much you show up for others, it’s never enough.

It's not easy to figure out who you really are and

what being "aligned" means to you?

Take a moment, if you can, and forget everything that’s happened in your life, and ask yourself, “If I were left alone, was happy to listen to my own voice, and knew other people would be okay with it… who would I be? What would I stand for? What would my relationships look like?”

Do you feel that?

Yeah… that’s YOU knocking on the door.

You’re in there… you just need some help to unlock the door.

It's not like you haven't tried to figure yourself out though...

Of course, you’ve been trying to be you every day of your life.

Much of your effort probably looks like criticism or pushing away what you feel, want, or prefer.

Maybe you swallow your anger and pain when a partner or family member says something rude to you.

If you’re dating, you get the sense that the person isn’t right for you, but you tell yourself you’re being judgmental. So, you talk to your friends, and they tell you you’re being too picky and because you believe they know you better than you do - you stick with it until you just can’t take it anymore.

At work, you have good ideas, and you see how things could be improved, but the lump in your throat won’t let you speak out as you wish you could. And then when someone else makes the same suggestion you had, and they get tons of appreciation and credit for it, you get angry at yourself for not speaking up.

You can feel the misalignment and so you’ve likely tried distracting yourself - getting really focused on your career, or engaging in a robust social life, getting absorbed in your partner or kids. Maybe you get lost in alcohol, sex, fitness, or travel. All of it, while sometimes fun, leaves you feeling hollow.

Through all of this, you’ve tried to build your confidence, but it doesn’t stick.

You’ve worked on setting boundaries, but you find honoring them difficult.

You have goals, ambitions, a tick list of qualities you want in a partner, and you’re a genuinely nice person, so why is it so hard to find alignment, purpose, fulfillment, and joy in being you?

Most importantly, please understand that you (and all of us) have been conditioned to follow the herd and blend in.

This is a natural phenomena which helps to keep us safe and brings us a sense of belonging. It’s natural to want both.

However, fitting in is usually at odds with authenticity.

Fitting in means you’ve adopted others’ values, qualities, and priorities - and some of these aren’t aligned with who you really are.

The stifling of your feelings, desires, and preferences doesn’t bring you closer to your authentic self because the real you doesn’t want to be stifled, it wants to be liberated.

Of course, the distractions are all temporary - like a bandaid over a wound - you can’t see the hurt, but it’s still there.

And even all the work you’ve done with your confidence, boundaries, and generally getting your act together hasn’t made the difference you want because, whether you consciously realize it or not, deep down, you know that if you actually start being the real you - it’s going to shake things up. It’s scary. People may not like the real you.

And oddly enough… if you find the real you, then you might actually get what you really want in life, and that kind of fulfillment can feel terrifying. It’s totally normal.

And so, what will help you navigate all of this, so you can find the real you, and live an aligned life of authenticity?

There are three key things that are missing in what you’ve tried, and absolutely necessary to understanding who you really are, who you most wish to be, and how to live aligned with what you value most.

The three keys are:

Attitude
Choice
Safety

Attitude

Your attitude towards yourself is the determining factor in your relationships with others.

Your attitude shapes your behavior.

But what determines attitude? Values.

Values guide your priorities, boundaries, relationships, ambition, goals, and the qualities which inform how you live your life, and what you stand for.

Once your attitude is clear and aligned - you know exactly how to navigate life and relationships.

Choice

You always have choices, but many of your options may not be obvious.

With awareness of your options, you can make more aligned choices. This means you can stop saying yes to things you really don’t want, and stop saying no to things you truly desire.

Learning how to identify and navigate making healthy choices supports you in living in an aligned way.

Being in healthy relationship with options and choices also supports you in staying aligned with the real you in the face of the natural consequences of your decisions. You can let people go, when that’s healthy, or bring people closer when that’s the healthy choice.

Safety

Having a sense of safety is critical to personal growth. We are biologically designed to stay stuck in an uncomfortable place, if it feels safe.

Safety within yourself, instead of through others, is the key - it opens up a whole new world.

When you learn to create a stable sense of safety within, it revolutionizes your relationship with every part of your life: relationships, work, friendships, and yourself.

Safety transforms how you feel about yourself, how you set and honor boundaries, who you look for in a partner and how you look for them, and what you prioritize in life.

Learning how to put these three key principles into practice in your life so that you experience real change requires some guidance, training, and hand holding.

I can support you in discovering and living the true and most authentic you possible through your values.

I welcome you to consider the powerful workshop…

Values: Your Personal Guide To Living Authentically & On Purpose

This is a one-on-one workshop training program with me, over a period of four weeks, which also include coaching.

Skills you’ll learn in this workshop:

Identify your core values.

Redefine what is important to you in your relationships and how you want to be treated.

Be truthful about how you know want to live and behave because your values are your guiding force.

Recognize why you may have been treated poorly in past relationships based on values mis-alignment.

Unlock the ‘real you’ and create more choice for yourself.

Evaluate new relationships and identify if there is value alignment before you get emotionally involved and potentially hurt.

Get more out of your life as you are genuinely connected to your inner-self, living as an individual and not seeking external validation.

You’ll also learn:

Why your present values may be sabotaging you and making you unhappy.

How to listen to yourself, take yourself more seriously and be authentic.

How to stand up for yourself and become your own self-advocate.

When to use your values to deal with indecision regarding your next steps forward.

Changing your self-image, so you see yourself as a unique confident person who lives by a code that is honest to who you are at your core.

Honesty. How scary, courageous and satisfying it can be to speak your truth and tell others what they can expect from you and what you expect from them.

How to express your new values to family members and friends.

How to deal with the fallout by not avoiding family members, friends or the person you are dating when you realize your values are diametrically opposed to some of theirs.

How to treat yourself kindly, so you feel nurtured and looked after.

How you can clarify which relationships are healthy and which ones may be unsafe for you.

Letting go of guilt when you realize relationships won’t work due to a values mis-match.

Completing the VALUES TRAINING – BUILDING AN AUTHENTIC VERSION OF YOU will help you to:

Know the real and authentic you.

Clarify what you want in your life i.e. career, hobbies, relationships etc., and what type of people you want around you.

Develop a self-image that you truly love, support, protect and nurture.

Live a life based on principles that are unique to you, which encourage you to be an independent thinker, brave and excited by the world, as you don’t follow the herd.

Take your first step in identifying secure healthy people and when you discover your boundaries how to create win-win, collaborative relationships that are based on your values.

Identify which people in your life may be toxic for you, due to their behavior and how they believe they can treat others.

Unlearn people-pleasing behaviors which are rooted in insecurity, fear of rejection and needing to feel validated by others.

Take yourself seriously, and not allow others to minimize your needs or gaslight you, as you know what you stand for.

Become more assertive and clearer in your communication style.

Listen to your inner voice, when a person presents you with red flags or consciously shows you they are not aligned with your values.

Understand how living by your values and implementing boundaries can lead you to know who you truly are, more happiness, fulfillment and energy to do the things you love.

You will be encouraged to explore your values and fine tune them in a safe environment, before you start living by them daily in your real life.

Does this Workshop really work?

Mark, CEO.

Knowing my values in both a personal and professional context has been a key part again of understanding in certain situations why I may feel uneasy or uncomfortable when something is said, or something happens that impacts me in an emotional way. I’ve learned that my values are the litmus test as to whether something is right or wrong and am better equipped now than I ever was before to be able to challenge and explore situations using my values as a yard stick.

Paris, Jnr Architect

Doing the values training was life changing. I learnt a lot and it made me realise what I had been prioritising and how I had been truly living my life. Having created my new values to live by, it has allowed me to start living my life in the way I want to live it. It also is such a helpful way to know who I surround myself with and if they’re good for me or not, based on whether they align with my values. Within this session, I had a lot of ‘OMG’ realisation moments.

Since I’ve been training clients in discovering and living their values, 100% of them have stated that this training (along with my Boundaries Workshop) has changed their life and relationships for the better.

Those who are participating in couples or individual psychotherapy in my Reconnect or Let Me Show You Self Love programs said that those programs had a deeper impact and made more sense because they knew their values and boundaries. It also helped them make sense of and heal from why they had been treated poorly in the past.

Knowing your values will help you to not to be a circumstantial person. Alignment with clear values helps you feel truly connected to yourself, grounded, and safe. Others will notice this honesty and integrity within you.

Values are the foundation of everything and I am so excited to help you meet the authentic you through this workshop!